Blogging is bringing me so much Joy!

I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but haven't had the technical knowledge. If there's one thing about me, however, it's that I'm very determined... and I really wanted to do this. Through an ad, I found a way that the technology could be taken care of (mostly), I could basically concentrate on blogging. I was thrilled, hopeful and wary at the same time. I should be so lucky as to find a way to do this! And I obviously have.

The other interesting thing about this is that Robert, the person I'm working with randomly picked out the name "Venus" blog, and it's fitting so perfectly into what I want to write about in pretty much every area of life.

As I'm doing this and doing research (which I love), the name "venus" keeps popping up. I had blogged awhile back about "coincidence" or "fate," and I ask the same question again... Coincidence or fate?

How does someone get to be as lucky as me?

Considering everything I've been through in life, and considering that I have anxiety attacks almost daily (mostly due to the ptsd), I still think I'm very lucky. The main reason for that is because of the people I have in my life. As I look back and take away all the feelings of failure, insecurity and just plain irrational beliefs about myself, I have known and still know some of the best people in the world.

Especially since my daughter's illness, I have changed a lot. Many friends literally disappeared. I don't know, maybe they thought leukemia was contagious. Maybe dealing with a life-threatening illness made them think about their own mortality. It was very hard for a very long time not to feel completely angry, resentful and hurt about the people who disappeared. As time has passed, however, I’m not so judgmental and I think about the people I’ve let down in my life.

Then I think about the wonderful people who stuck around. Literally through thick and thin, constantly hearing nothing but bad news; this was going wrong or that was going wrong or Cristina was having some surgery or another horrible procedure. I felt like “Typhoid Maddy” spreading nothing but misery and pain. But wonderful people hung in there with us… They are truly blessed and know what friendship is really about.

It’s also true that one never knows what life has in store. I never thought I’d hear the words, “I’m sorry Madeline, but your daughter has leukemia.” Life is not guaranteed. The next minute is not guaranteed. But I have learned to be grateful for what I have. My wealth is not financial. My wealth is my friendships. TRUE friendships that have stood the test of time, pain and unbelievably enough… through it all… LOTS OF LAUGHTER! I am one of the luckiest people on earth!