I Learned the Art of Being

Maybe that's the hardest thing to do. Just "BE." Considering a lot of the events in my life, my bend of nature, my "karma," I think one of the hardest things to do (or not do) is BE.

I learned a lot about that during Cristina's illness and recovery. That's some of why I love dancing. Because in the middle of the whirling around, there's this immense Silence and Stillness and you just ARE. I also had to learn as much as I could about it because there were so many, many, many times over the years of Cristina's recovery, when words were completely insufficient, unnecessary and absolutely none to say. The only thing to do was to BE there with her.

I remember one time, when Cristina was totally on the complete edge of complete and total despair, the only thing I could think to say to her was that she ate three more string beans that day then she did the day before. There was absolutely nothing else to say. She, being who she is, of course, leaped right onto that teeny, tiny glimmer of hope.

There were also times of such complete and utter pain that there were no words. There still ARE lots of times, which I think I'm experiencing now, when words just don't do it. Or maybe it's gotta be words that help and heal said in voice that is full of life and energy. I'm very sensitive to the energy in peoples' voices. Sound is very important.

And I have tinnitis. But that's a whole other story.